Happy Christmahanakwanzikayule


Happy Christmahanakwanzikayule! If it seems like a mouthful you’re probably full. So many holy days. I don’t mean to offend. So if I miss yours, I’ll try to amend. But for now, please accept my greeting in good will and cheer. For peace on earth and nothing to fear. So do not be angry, I think it’s quite cool to say Happy Christmahanakwanzikayule!

Happy Christmahanakwanzikayule!
Happy Christmahanakwanzikayule!

I once knew someone who wanted a hippopotamus for Christmas. They proclaimed that only a hippopotamus would do. I tried to talk them in to accepting a doll or a dinky tinker toy but those just wouldn’t do. Further, my forlorn friend was not willing to accept crococodiles or rhinoceroses into their lives. No, only a hippopotamus would do. I considered starting a Gofundme site to see if we could achieve this goal of purchasing said hippopotamus but she told me some jolly fellow from the north pole would bring one right through her front door. I’m afraid the poor dear had gone quite mad. I hope she was finally able to acquire the help she desperately needed.
-Cianaodh Óg


Children of the earth, we have come to sing songs of good tidings and joy to our brothers and sisters of the world. May there be peace on earth and good will to all with whom we share this plane of existence.

Picture yourself flying…

Over the desert, in a canoe. And one of your wheels fall off.

…sooo: how many hot cakes does it take to shingle a doghouse?


Memerization – Christmas War

War on Christmas internment camp.
War on Christmas internment camp.

Horrible scene from the “War On Christmas” internment camp at a secret location in the Midwest.

Lol, year after year the annual “War On Christmas” posts come with messages of how horrible it is that a greeter, cashier or random person dared to say “Happy Holidays” instead of Merry Christmas to someone. Maybe they even added insult to injury by serving them coffee in a plain red cup. I find the whole thing downright laughable and much ado over nothing. It’s amusing none-the-less to watch it play out and maybe even poke the bear a bit because I get bored sometimes and, well, you know how it is. But in all honesty, there’s no war on Christmas in this household. We firmly believe in celebrating everything and in the spirit of celebrating everything I recognize that there are multiple holidays being celebrated by people of a multitude of faiths so why focus on just one? If I know for certain the person I am speaking to is Christian I might say Merry Christmas or if they are Pagan I like to say Blessed Yuletide to them. I’ll say Happy Hanukkah to my Jewish friends and Festivus for the rest of us. If I don’t know for sure or am wanting to cover all the bases then a nice, blank wish of Happy Holidays fits nicely in my opinion. Have a happy whatever you celebrate!

You can only say WTF so many times per day before you just start drinking.

Okay, I resemble that remark sometimes. Haha! Why not, it’s more socially acceptable that putting foots in asses. Red Foreman might disagree with me on that point however. But I’ve seen his wife put away a drink or two so she’s in my camp on this.

Buckle up buttercup. KY lubricant, so no one has to squeal like a pig.