It takes all kinds of nuts to make up this crazy world and not all of the nuts are in candy bars either.
True story. Some of them climbed back up in there though so if you hear a rustling above your head….duck!
This looks like it might be much more effective than the old fashioned Beware Of Dog sign.
Well, this explains a lot.
Cad é an chraic?
Very true. People are going to talk about you know matter what you do so you might as well enjoy your life and be yourself. Because at the end of the day, it’s your life, not theirs.
Two Irish nuns have just arrived in USA by boat,
and one says to the other, “I hear that the people
in this country actually eat dogs.”
“Odd,” her companion replies, “but if we shall live
in America , we might as well do as the Americans do.”
As they sit, they hear a push cart vendor yelling,
“Hot Dogs, get your dogs here,” and they both walk
towards the hot dog cart.
“Two dogs, please!,” says one. The vendor is very pleased to oblige,
wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over. Excited, the nuns hurry
to a bench and begin to unwrap their ‘dogs.’
The mother superior is first to open hers.
She begins to blush, and then staring at it for a moment, leans to the other Nun and in a soft brogue whispers……
Friday the 13th ya say? Whatever, I’m not changing my ways.
Come mothers and fathers
Throughout the land
And don’t criticize
What you can’t understand
Your sons and your daughters
Are beyond your command
Your old road is rapidly aging
Please get out of the new one if you can’t lend your hand
Cause the times they are a-changing – Bob Dylan
A driver is stuck in a traffic jam on the highway. Nothing is moving. Suddenly, a man knocks on the window. The driver rolls down the window and asks, “What’s going on?” “Terrorists have kidnapped Congress, and are asking for a $10 million dollar ransom. Otherwise they are going to douse them all in gasoline and set them on fire. We are going from car to car, taking up a collection.” “How much is everyone giving, on average?” the driver asks. The man replies, “About a gallon.
I am the wild hunter of the forest deep
And I am the fire upon the hill
And I am the sower of the seed
And the tiller of the soil of the earth
And I am the golden warrior whose arrows are the shafts from the sun
The thunder is my hoof fall
The wilderness is my shrine
I wield the oaken staff
The elements at my call
By day I am the sun
By night I ride upon the wild winds.
– Daghda Cosantóir Dandelion
“It appeared that there had even been demonstrations to thank Big Brother for raising the chocolate ration to twenty grammes a week. And only yesterday, he reflected, it had been announced that the ration was to be reduced to twenty grammes a week. Was it possible that they could swallow that, after only twenty-four hours? Yes, they swallowed it.” – 1984 George Orwell.
Another reason to love Cards Against Humanity:
I love this! Workers in China usually don’t get to have vacation time to spend with their families and loved ones. But this company did something remarkable to change that. We need more of this in the world. We need more people caring about people. Profit is one thing but goodness and humanity should always prevail.
Kylism 11217 “Hey dad, what if there was a pancake eating a waffle next to a waffle eating a pancake?”
A company owner was asked a question, “How do you motivate your employees to be so punctual?”
He smiled & replied, “It’s simple. I have 30 employees and 29 free parking spaces. One is paid parking.”
Teacher: Whoever answers my next question, can go home.
One boy throws his bag out the window.
Teacher: Who just threw that?
Boy: Me and I’m going home now.
There are three ways a man wears his hair – parted- unparted or departed
A man placed some flowers on the grave of his departed mother and started back for his car, parked on the cemetery road. His attention was diverted to a man kneeling at a grave.
The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity, and kept repeating, “Why did you die? Why did you die?”
The first man approached him and said, “Sir, I don’t want to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of hurt and pain is more than I’ve ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? Your Child? A parent? Who, may I ask, lies in that grave?”
The mourner answered, “My wife’s first husband! … Why did you die? Why did you die?”
Bahahahaha! What?! Hey, I’m sure he’s only joking. <wink>
—————————– YUCK IT UP GROUP! ————————————-
A man is stopped by the police around 1 a. m. and is asked where he is going at this time of night.
The man replies, “I am going to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body.”
The officer then asks, “Really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of night?”
The man replies, “That would be my wife.”
THE PASTOR’S ASS
A Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.
The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and it won again.
The local paper read: “PASTOR’S ASS OUT FRONT.”
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in another race…
The next day, the local paper headline read: “BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR’S ASS.”
This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the Pastor to get rid of the donkey..
The Pastor decided to give it to a Nun in a nearby Convent..
The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: “NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.”
The Bishop fainted!
He informed the Nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.
The next day the papers read: “NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.”
This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.
The next day the headlines read: “NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.”
The Bishop was buried the next day.
The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.
Kathy said, “My father’s a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket an the front seat of the pickup when we hit a bump in the road and the eggs went flying and broke and made a mess.” “And what’s the moral of the story?” asked the teacher.
“Don’t put all your eggs in one basket!”
“Very good,” said the teacher. “Now, Lucy?”
“Our family are farmers too. But we raise chickens for the meat market. We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks. And the moral to this story is, don’t count your chickens before they’re hatched.”
“That’s a fine story Lucy,” she continued. “Johnny, do you have a story to share?”
“Yes ma’am, my daddy told me this story about my Uncle Bob. Uncle Bob was a Green Beret in Vietnam and his helicopter got hit. He had to crash land in enemy territory and all he had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun and a machete. He drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn’t break and then he landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. He killed seventy with the machine gun until he ran out of bullets, then he killed twenty more with with the machete till the blade broke and then kill the last ten with his bare hands.”
“Good heavens,” said the teacher, “What kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?”
“Don’t mess with Uncle Bob when he’s been drinking.”
I tried to log in on my iPad but it turns out it was an Etch-A-Sketch and I don’t own an iPad. Also, I am out of rum.
Enjoy and feel free to reply with some of your own!
A conversation can seem to start out innocently enough and then, suddenly you’re in the twilight zone.
A question posed by my daughter Alie, “If you’re walking in the forest and a headless boy is walking behind you do you turn around and help him or do you run away.”started another typically weird conversation here one morning. A debate took place on the subject and the sides were evenly split.
In my opinion, if your head gets cut off then the sensible thing to do is lay down and be dead. Not be up wandering around scaring folks. That’s just a sign that you’re up to no good.
“Poop here, poop there, poop everywhere.”
“Give me your children.”
“Boobs and Buttcheeks.”
“Obama is being chased by buttcheeks.”
“Why are you licking me?” Okay, I’ll admit, that was me to our dog, Turk.
“His shirt was inside out.” Hi, Kyle.
“Kyle, why must you poop on everything?”
Somehow the conversation also came up that typing (someone’s name) “is a” into Google comes up with some humorous results. Among our discoveries were:
“Kyle is a stupid name.”
“Eddy is a no neck chump.”
This is just one day in the world I live in. Now do you understand?
But, I wouldn’t give them up for the world. This group of clever apes gives me an endless supply of inspiration, joy and entertainment. As long as I have them around I’ll probably never run out of things to write about and will definitely fall into the abyss of what the world calls sanity. Now, if you’ll excuse me for a bit I’m going to sit on the back deck with my crazy and have a nice cup of coffee to start the day. Enjoy yours!
Official Tuatha Dea at HardRock Cafe’s “Mountain Aid Benefit”
Happy Christmahanakwanzikayule! If it seems like a mouthful you’re probably full. So many holy days. I don’t mean to offend. So if I miss yours, I’ll try to amend. But for now, please accept my greeting in good will and cheer. For peace on earth and nothing to fear. So do not be angry, I think it’s quite cool to say Happy Christmahanakwanzikayule!
I once knew someone who wanted a hippopotamus for Christmas. They proclaimed that only a hippopotamus would do. I tried to talk them in to accepting a doll or a dinky tinker toy but those just wouldn’t do. Further, my forlorn friend was not willing to accept crococodiles or rhinoceroses into their lives. No, only a hippopotamus would do. I considered starting a Gofundme site to see if we could achieve this goal of purchasing said hippopotamus but she told me some jolly fellow from the north pole would bring one right through her front door. I’m afraid the poor dear had gone quite mad. I hope she was finally able to acquire the help she desperately needed.
Children of the earth, we have come to sing songs of good tidings and joy to our brothers and sisters of the world. May there be peace on earth and good will to all with whom we share this plane of existence.
Picture yourself flying…
Over the desert, in a canoe. And one of your wheels fall off.
…sooo: how many hot cakes does it take to shingle a doghouse?
– adjective 1.
of or relating to ordinary citizens and their concerns, as distinct from military or ecclesiastical matters.
synonyms: secular, nonreligious, lay. 2.
courteous and polite.
“we tried to be civil to him”
synonyms: polite, courteous, well mannered, well bred, chivalrous, gallant;
Exactly! Have we, as a society, not focused maybe too much on making things bigger, faster, taller, more sleek, then throw it out and get another one next year? What has this way of living done to the place where we live and we expect our children, grandchildren and others to live? We do not inherit the earth from our ancestors, we borrow it from our children. This is something we would do well to remember as we make our choices on how we live. Are we being polite, courteous, well mannered, well bred and gallant in our stewardship?
Water is two parts hydrogen and one part oxygen. What if someone says, “Well, that’s not how I choose to think about water.”? All we can do is appeal to scientific values. And if he doesn’t share those values, the conversation is over. If someone doesn’t value evidence, what evidence are you going to provide to prove that they should value it? If someone doesn’t value logic, what logical argument could you provide to show the importance of logic? – Sam Harris
If their beliefs are that me and mine should die or be deprived of liberty I have no respect for them. Period. I try to live and let live with everyone but some people only want to kill and destroy what does not fit their view of how the world should be or what is the right way to live. Extremism is a terrible sickness in human society.
I know you probably ain’t gonna believe this but his name was already Kush when we adopted him and at the time I had no idea that Kush was a strain of Cannabis. The people we adopted him from told us it was because the kids liked to lay on him like he was a “cush”ion. Yeah, whatever. Lol! He’s a big ol’ goofy dogs that loves to play in water, with sticks or his rope and he will endeavor to steal an unattended beer by “accidentally” spilling it and lapping it up though. Gotta watch him! Everybody who meets him loves him though. 🙂
Horrible scene from the “War On Christmas” internment camp at a secret location in the Midwest.
Lol, year after year the annual “War On Christmas” posts come with messages of how horrible it is that a greeter, cashier or random person dared to say “Happy Holidays” instead of Merry Christmas to someone. Maybe they even added insult to injury by serving them coffee in a plain red cup. I find the whole thing downright laughable and much ado over nothing. It’s amusing none-the-less to watch it play out and maybe even poke the bear a bit because I get bored sometimes and, well, you know how it is. But in all honesty, there’s no war on Christmas in this household. We firmly believe in celebrating everything and in the spirit of celebrating everything I recognize that there are multiple holidays being celebrated by people of a multitude of faiths so why focus on just one? If I know for certain the person I am speaking to is Christian I might say Merry Christmas or if they are Pagan I like to say Blessed Yuletide to them. I’ll say Happy Hanukkah to my Jewish friends and Festivus for the rest of us. If I don’t know for sure or am wanting to cover all the bases then a nice, blank wish of Happy Holidays fits nicely in my opinion. Have a happy whatever you celebrate!
You can only say WTF so many times per day before you just start drinking.
Okay, I resemble that remark sometimes. Haha! Why not, it’s more socially acceptable that putting foots in asses. Red Foreman might disagree with me on that point however. But I’ve seen his wife put away a drink or two so she’s in my camp on this.
Buckle up buttercup. KY lubricant, so no one has to squeal like a pig.
It looks like you’re writing unsubstantiated nonsense. Would you like to turn on ALL CAPS?
Well, the wildlife of Bogus Basin have found a wonderful way to keep warm in the winter chill. Good on them! It’s wonderful to observe nature carrying on under the trapping of man’s “improvements” to the landscape. Sex outdoors is some of the best kind of sex. But I’m not to keen on sex in the cold.
She “Wow, you’re rock hard. You must be and incredible lover.”
Me “Not really, I’m just frozen stiff.”
What do you think of this quote about people who are distrustful? Do they indeed confuse intensity with intimacy, obsession with care, and control with security? I have a tendency to be rather distrustful of people and their motives sometimes and I recognize some truth in these words. It’s something well worth considering I guess. I love the one about asking kids what problems they would like to solve rather than what they want to be when they grow up. It seems to me that instills a sense of purpose in them. Now, they have a mission.
There are plenty of problems in this world which need to be solved and what we need are more people who are on a mission to solve them rather than on a mission to become what society has decided makes on “successful”. I’ve been seeing some news articles about devices which capture carbon from the air and convert it to a solid or a fuel. Now these are the kinds of solutions we need more of.
I feel the same way. Plus, that’s my favorite camping spot too. Who doesn’t enjoy a weekend or more at Camp MFFY!
Some say a T-Rex, others a dragon, even a penis… What do you think?
I highly recommend camping and drumming. Especially if you can do it with a crazy bunch of friends who also enjoy communing with nature and tribe in the woods. There is something truly primal which connects your spirit to your ancestors in taking the time to do these things. The more often the better. The smell and sound of a crackling fire, the rhythm of the drums and the sounds of feet thumping and dancing on the ground speak to a place deep within all of us when we were truly connected to the circle of life. When is the last time you were out in the woods? Do you have some interesting experiences to share? Did you feel the presence of your ancestors or perhaps something otherworldly? Do you like to go for long walks on forest trails or sit on the porch and watch the rain come down? The pitter patter of the drops can carry you away in meditative trance while you let the troubles of our modern world slip away for a little while. Thank you for visiting today. Please take a little time to drop a comment or two about your thoughts. I enjoy a good conversation with like minded and sometimes different minded folks.